Hello joanne1978.  Welcome to this forum.  So sorry to hear about your mum; the shock of the diagnosis and the little time that she had left meant that  you had no time to prepare and were thrown straight into a painful situation.  I imagine that it is frightening and upsetting to wake up to the dreams you describe; you must spend several minutes in absolute terror.

I don't know if you would consider talking to a bereavement counsellor; the best known one is Cruse Bereavement Care (0808 808 1677 - Freefone).  I suspect that like so many charities they may be struggling to keep up with demand but - depending on where  you live - they may be able to see you without delay.  Also of course I hope you are getting support from friends and family.  Please pursue this route to get you through what is a very distressing time for you.  There is another organisation called The Loss Foundation; I don't know much about them but they are an alternative for bereavement counselling (Tel 0300 200 012 - the price is that of a normal phone call).  Also please come and post here at any time you are feeling particularly low - many people do post during the night if they cannot sleep.   Best wishes.  Annie