I didn't think I'd end up writing this. I thought I'd be fine when it came to this point in my life. My mum sadly lost a battle with breast cancer 21 years ago this August. I was 6 at the time, and don't have any real memories of her, just the ones from home videos and pictures. I've always had difficultly expressing myself about her as I can't remember her at all. If I had no photos of her, I wouldn't know what she looked like. 

Fast forward 21 years and I'm now engaged (yay!) to the most wonderful guy I could ever meet. We've been together 6.5years now, and I can't wait to marry him. The first part of wedding planning went fine, booked the church, venue, caterers etc. But now, we've come to the dress shopping and this is where I've completely lost it. I've tried on around 20 dresses now, and I still haven't found THE ONE. There have been some where I've liked them a lot, but I haven't had that feeling i'm told brides are meant to have. I'm now wondering, is this because I don't have my mum with me? I've been to appointments by myself, with my dad, and with my maid of honour and bridesmaid. 

Our wedding is still a year away, but I'm worried that I'll never find the dress, and that this is only the start of things to come. I've found myself crying at work, and just breaking down in tears thinking about it. I'm struggling to cope with the pressure of this dress when there shouldn't be any at all! I know what I want, but when I find it I'm not as impressed. 

Has anyone got any advice on where to go from here?