My Dad is gone

Lost my dad on Thursday to lung cancer which had spread to the throat liver bones and brain he was so distressed in his last few hours and only arrived at the hospice the day before heartbroken 

  • Hello Ethan2003; so sorry that your dad has gone in this way.  Welcome to this forum.  It is bad enough to lose a parent and it is even more distressing that his last days and hours were not peaceful ones.  There are lots of people currently posting who have lost a parent in recent days and you may like to look through the first few pages of the forum to find people who are also distressed and you may like to chat with them; similarly some may contact you.

    It is some years now since I lost first my mam and a few years later my dad (my mum died from cancer and my father from pneumonia).  But although I have now come to terms with their loss I have not forgotten the sorrow and feeling of devastating loss.   It is very early days for you and your pain will still be raw; I am attaching a  link about coping with grief which I hope you might find helpful.   Annie

    about-cancer.cancerresearchuk.org/.../coping-with-grief

     

  • Im sorry! I lost my dad 2 weeks ago, buried him last friday, raw and painful! What was his distress? Mine also had what i think might be described as peaceful death at home but to me it was traumatic, unconcious, heavy breathing for almost 48 hours, just horrific to experience, sending support x

  • Hey I’m sorry you also lost your Dad we had his service on Tuesday still feels very surreal if I’m honest just waiting on him walking throu the door . My dad had a horrific last few days had been trying to get hiim moved to the hospice as he was in a receiving ward and they could give him the care and comfort after transferring to the hospice what we thought was in place wasn’t we were totally misinformed to what oxygen my dad would be in and what was discussed with my dad the pallative care team was not in place the hospice advised they woujd sertle him in and manage his drugs according my dad died 20 hours later the final hours were awful agitated delerious couldn’t breathe as it wasn’t the right oxygen it was awful this was his only request not to be distressed and not for us to see him distressed .

  • Hi i lost my dad three weeks ago. Still cant believe how fast it happened. We knew he was terminal but prognosis was 6-12 months, he died after a month. It just feels like im in a daydream at the moment. He had that death rattle for last 24 hours and seemed to be fighting for every breath. Now everything is arranged abd we are waiting fir his funeral it feels like im stuck in limbo. I miss him so much