Hello Siobhan,

I'm so sorry to hear that your mum passed away yesterday, on behalf of everyone here at Cancer Chat I'd like to offer you our sincere condolences.

Sadly, nothing I can say will ease your pain at the moment but perhaps you might want to have a look at this page from our website with information on coping with grief. Also, please know that we are here for you, anytime.

Thinking of you at this difficult time.

Warm wishes,

Renata, Cancer Chat Moderator 

Hello srennie. So sorry to hear about your mum's decease and how awful you are feeling.  My mam was a bit older than yours when she died from cancer - 70 years of age - but I still felt it was far too young.  She had spent most of her last years caring for her own mam (my Nana) who had a debilitating illness and required a lot of care.  I felt she was cheated of some years for herself - but I guess we can always find some reason to question why any god in existence would take our loved ones away too early.

Nothing prepares you for the loss of a parent - we are suddenly thrown into it and have to cope.  Your pain must be very raw at the moment and somehow you have to go on from day to day.   At first you are tied up with all the administrative stuff which takes up time and energy, also people kindly visiting and the funeral.  I would just say take it a day at a time; grief is a bit different for everyone - or so it appears from this forum - but from my own experience I would just say that I "talked to" my mam, kept some of her bits and pieces to hold and look at and very gradually the pain eased and I could smile when thinking about her.  Do whatever helps you and be kind to yourself.    Do keep in touch here if it help you.  Annie