Struggling to cope with losing my mum

This is my first post here. I lost my mum to pancreatic cancer just over 3 weeks ago. It was all very sudden, she was diagnosed and less than 3 weeks later she had passed away. It’s killing me inside, I honestly don’t know how to go on without her. She wasn’t just my mum she was my best friend and we did everything together. I have 2 children, my youngest was only 2 weeks old when she passed away and I can’t believe she will never know him. She absolutely adored my eldest and would see him several times a week, they absolutely adored each other and it was like he had 2 mums which I loved. How do I ever get over this? I don’t want to feel like this forever but can’t see how this pain will ease? I feel like nobody understands how I feel and I’m terrified of life without her by my side. We told each other things that we didn’t tell anyone else and were each other’s greatest confidante. I feel so lonely even though I have other people around me, she was my everything and I never dreamed I would be left without her, she was so young at 54. I’m 30 and all I keep thinking is life feels like such a long hard path to tread without her. The only thing keeping me going is my 2 beautiful boys and wanting to be as brilliant a mum to them as she was to me. I can’t bear that she was taken from us so cruelly and suddenly, I was there at the end and it was so awful. I long to hear her voice again, pick up the phone and have a chat just because. My phone rang earlier and for a split second I thought it might be her...it’s torture.

will I always feel like this? I can’t stand the thought of this being my reality now but I can’t imagine going through life and not wanting to ask her advice or share news with her. Can anyone that’s been through this offer any hope? I know it’s early days but it’s all I can think about and I’m scared I’ll never be able to live a somewhat normal life. I miss her so so much.

Parents
  • Hi. I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my mum suddenly to oesophageal cancer 7 weeks ago. I went back to work yesterday but the pain doesn’t go away, I’m sorry to say, you just become better at coping with it. I have a 5 year old daughter who misses her gran, so thankfully we have 2 videos of her with gran and we watch them most days. I also put together a memory box of my mum which comforts me. I spent time with her friends who told me funny stories about her and reminded me of the full life she held before the cancer took hold. I’ve also started counselling as I found her passed away in her bed and I struggle with flashbacks of that image. There are just some of the ways I get through my day. I hope they help. Just know that you are not alone and you will get through it.

    Sending hugs

    xxx

Reply
  • Hi. I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my mum suddenly to oesophageal cancer 7 weeks ago. I went back to work yesterday but the pain doesn’t go away, I’m sorry to say, you just become better at coping with it. I have a 5 year old daughter who misses her gran, so thankfully we have 2 videos of her with gran and we watch them most days. I also put together a memory box of my mum which comforts me. I spent time with her friends who told me funny stories about her and reminded me of the full life she held before the cancer took hold. I’ve also started counselling as I found her passed away in her bed and I struggle with flashbacks of that image. There are just some of the ways I get through my day. I hope they help. Just know that you are not alone and you will get through it.

    Sending hugs

    xxx

Children
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