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Mum died suddenly

Jaw54
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My mum died yesterday she was 64 too young she wanted to go places, she had a scan two  years ago and they missed a 1 cm lung tumour. She went to the doctors four months ago coughing up blood pain and swollen lymph node he told her it was a chest infection , now four months on she's dead imI devastated and i just want to die and be with her but I have a daughter she didn't want to die she was so beautiful and she was so scared, I watched her dying and being sick no energy her life at the end was so cruel  .I took a month off to look after her she went down we went to a hospice in a hospital and there she died with a intravenous diazepam injection as she had become delirium maybe it was her time to go, she got let down by all of the nhs and im going to get justice for her this is the worst thing i have ever seen  i just want to die my beautiful mum is lying dead when she could of been saved two years ago. Someone has to pay for this. 

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    Oh lovey, My great uncle died of cancer a couple of weeks back. I don't have cancer but most of my family do, and I feel much more helpful when supporting people who are going through what they are going through. My grandma died when my mum was 8 of breast cancer. My mums youngest sister was 2 and doesn't even remember what colour her mums hair was X. I know how you feel. The nhs doesn't do much when the cancer starts to spread, seriously. If only they had picked it up earlier. That's the answer to soooo many people's grief. Your mum sounds like a great lady, I'm sure she'd be very proud to see you moving on and making the best out of your life, even though she may not be there.xx
  • Offline in reply to BumbleBee13

    Thanks for your reply I'm so sorry to for your losses i can not believe how many people this affects I can't stop googling for answers and crying i just want her back and its never going to happen, thank you for hearing me x

  • Offline in reply to Jaw54

    Hi there... I just want to say how very sorry I am about your mum ... life is so unfare ... l lost my mum when I was 36 to heart attack... she was just gone, with no warning. . I remember the raw pain of missing her ... I'm sure your mum wouldn't want you to hurt so ... and she'd want you to be there for your daughter, who must need you now, like you needed your mum ... and your mum will always be in your heart ...

    I'm on my journey with breast cancer and I'm nearly 64 ... and I know it would brake my heart to see my child hurting like you ... I'd want to look down and see them miss me but carry on living ... I want to see them smile ... please try and find some counselling to help you through ... there's no guarantee even when lumps are found early that they will be cured ...  none of us know what tomorrow brings ...

    I hope you find a little piece. .. sending you a hug ... Chrissie x

  • Offline in reply to Chriss

    Thank you and i know you are right and i am truly sorry about your mum and what you are going through now i hate this cancer stuff its devastating I thank you so much for talking to me when you yourself are going through this I hope everything is OK xx 

  • Hi Jaw54, 

    I just came across your post and wanted to offer you my sincerest condolences on your mother's passing.

    I can see some of our members have already offered some lovely words of support and shared their experiences with you but I also wanted to share some information we have on our website about coping with loss which I hope will be of some help to you at this time.

    Kind regards, 

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Offline in reply to Moderator Steph

    Thanks i will look now it just hurts so much I love her so much she was everything to me

  • Offline in reply to Jaw54

    Hold on hunny .. try to just get through the day ... she is in your heart and no one can take that away ... but always here if you want a chat ... Chrissie x

  • Offline in reply to Chriss

    Thank you chrissy hope you are OK also xxx 

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    I was sorry to read of the pain you are going through. I wanted to drop you a note as my Mum also died after a short battle with cancer. She was 59 and scared of dying, i also feel that we were let down by the NHS. She was my best friend and my rock and it is very hard without her.Have you looked into bereavement counseling? I am doing it at the moment and think it is a good place to start. I know I will never accept what has happened but that I need to find a way to live with the pain, to make it more bearable. It must be very raw for you still at the moment and you are probably trying to come to terms with the shock of it all. X
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    Hi, my mum passed away in 26th February, she too had lung cancer and a brain tumour only diagnosed on 11th December and was always told it was treatable, she was a strong kind mum who smiled throughout only 69, her 70th would have been the 8th March. I am devastated by her loss and also know that the NHS let her down and us as a family we saw two different doctors one who said she had days to live as the cancer had spread quickly, then a second who said no she has months it’s just an infection, she became confused on the Saturday and I was told it was either a water infection or lack of oxygen and the doctor would be around in the morning but that she was ok, that was the last time I spoke to her as the palliative care team then decided on the Sunday morning ( no prior phone call to say she had got worse) to put her on the driver to which she lasted a day, I spoke to the nurse on that night shift who said she was fine??? Things don’t add up somewhere and I will be looking for answers as someone clearly got things wrong , it won’t bring her back but questions need to be asked.

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