Last year I moved across the country to live with my best friend Louise, within a few months of being there I received a call that my gramps had been diagnosed with stage 4 non hodgin lymphoma. I had lived with my gramps, and knew that I had to go back and look after him. On the 19th December 2017, just less than two months after I had returned to look after my gramps, I received the worst phone call of my life, Louise had died. The one person that had helped me through so much, that I love so much was gone just like that. 

I've never lost anybody before, and it is so horrible. Louise was only 27 years old and we had so many plans together. We kept in touch every day and she was so supportive of my situation.  

I still care for my gramps, his mobility is really bad and I have to do most things  around the house, cooking cleaning, and also helping my gramps get showered and trying to keep him as healthy as possible, although he has lost a lot of weight and has a very poor appetite and is in pain. Of course I still want to look after him, but doing all of this every day whilst grieving is really hard, and I feel alone and sad. I'm just hoping to find someone to chat to, someone who understands what I'm going through.