Losing my mum after 18 days from diagnosis

I don't really know where to start but here goes. On 13th Feb by mum found out had lung cancer which had spread. We were told no cure but treatable. She died on 3rd March  and I am in total shock I miss her so mich we did so much together. I also lost my nana to cancer 8 years ago she was diagnosed  17 days before she died. My mum was 18 days after being diagnosed.  So it's like lightening striking twice. Days I have cried so much and today is mother's day and I haven't cried. I feel so numb and still in shock about the diagnosis never mind her passing. I spend all day looking at photos and videos yet my sister can't do this yet  I know everyone deals with this in different ways but I still can't believe this has happened and want to wake up from this bad dream xx

  • Welcome to our forum, Shabela70 although I'm so sorry to hear about the reason that brought you here.

    On behalf of everyone here at Cancer Chat, I'd like to offer you our sincere condolences. 

    Hopefully some of our members will soon stop by to chat with you and offer support but feel free to stop by and post as much as you need. We are here to listen.

    Warm wishes,

    Renata, Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Hello Shabela70.  Mothers Day is a very difficult day for so many people who come to this forum. Even though it is now many years since my own mum died from cancer I still feel a pang when it comes round and very much appreciate my own son remembering and contacting me from his home in New Zealand.

    There is no easy way through the grief of losing a parent; nothing prepares you for it.  You don't know how you will cope until it happens.  The first few weeks force you to carry out tasks such as arranging the funeral, contacting friends and family, dealing with finances etc and that sort of pushes you forward (I can only speak from my own experiences - my father also died some years ago but not of cancer).  Then suddenly you are left to cope - friends and family are kind and try to help but you still have to find your own way through it.  I am posting some information from this website about grief.  I realise that too many of us already know what grief looks and feels like but this can help make sense of some of what you and your sister are experiencing.  The best general advice I can give is to take things a day at a time - the longer-term future just seems too bleak at this time.  Let us know how you are getting on and I am sure others will have their own experiences to share with  you also.  Best wishes.  Annie

    www.cancerresearchuk.org/.../coping-with-grief

  • I’m so so sorry to hear about your loss. I lost my mum to motor neurone disease which was so awful . I hope you have people to help you through this. Thoughts and prayers are with you 

  • I totally understand it was 5 weeks for us didn't have time to get used to it. We lost dad on Wednesday so still in shock. Sorry for your loss x