I don’t know where to start really. I don’t think I’ve properly mourned the passing of my mum. I was 31 (she was 62). 

2016 started off better than any year! I got engaged to my now wife in January and took my family (wife and 2 kids) to Disney World for the most wonderful holiday at the end of March.

we travelled back on my mums 62nd Birthday in the early hours. On the journey home, I gave her a call. She mentioned she hadn’t felt very well while we had been away but didn’t want to worry us. I said that I would go and see her that afternoon to tell her all about the holiday.

we finally got home a little before lunch. With the jet lag and children on a long red eye flight, we were all really tired. I rang my mum early evening, to say that I was really tired so would see her the next day. That was the last time I ever got to speak to her :-(

We went to bed that evening, the following morning I got a call from my dad in a panic, “I thinks mums had a stroke. I’ve called an ambulance, can you come and meet us at the hospital.” Panic set in, but knowing how quick the response had been and that the ambulance was on the way gave me some comfort that all could still play out ok.

i got to the hospital, my dad met me in the reception and led me to a room. My world came crashing down. My dad told me that, following a scan, mum had notsuffered from a stroke, but had cancer on the brain, and and it had finally released too much pressure (or something to that effect) and there was nothing that could be done.

it was then just a waiting game. Mum was taken to hospital on 10/4 and passed away on the 14/4. We all stayed in her room every day and night, not really knowing what else to do.

i remember each moment as clear as day, I do have the occasional cry but deep down I know I’m really struggling with this. I just don’t know what to do :-(

I just don’t feel like my partner gets it....