Lost my mum and I'm only 16

So I'm 16 and I lost my mum to stomach and oesophagus cancer in July last year. She was only 51 and it happened so fast. She was ill from December 2016 but was misdiagnosed and only found out in april, 3 months before she passed away. Christmas was awful, my mum had preordered me a present so I spent the whole of christmas crying and sleeping. Recently I've been struggling really bad and applying for uni and she isn't here with me on my journey. Hopefully going to the same uni as she did and doing the same course also isn't helping. I've lost my appetite and struggling to sleep and have a constant pain in my chest and constantly feeling sick. I don't feel motivated to do anything anymore and I feel iv'e been really lazy since she passed away. Does anyone have any tips on this? My mum was my best friend and everything to me and I just feel awful.

  • Hi Kelsey... oh my, life is really unfare ... have you got any siblings, that you can chat too .. or your dad ..I can't imagine how hard this must be for you .. now there is a group called rip rap (I think ) that is for young ones effected by cancer, where you can talk to others your age who are going through this ...

    I hope "ask the nurses" pick this up tomoz and can give you better info ... also McMillan may be able to help with counselling as it really does help ... I will try and find out from others and hopefully you'll get others on here who can help too ... you can always post on here, there is always someone to listen ..

    My step daughter lost her mum to breast cancer when she was 17 and doing exams at college. . She wishes she'd gone to counselling as she tried to carry on, but went through a very low time years later .. 

    My thoughts are with you ... sending you a big hug .. Chrissie x

  • Hello Kelsey16.  So awful to lose your mum so young at an age when life should just be opening up for you.  It is awful that you are struggling so much without - it appears - getting help from anyone.  I see Chrissie has been seeking support for you.  I think you might find it helpful to phone Winston's Wish - I am attaching a link - which is specifically for young people who have lost a parent.

    www.winstonswish.org/.../

    Chrissie also mentions riprap which is for young people who have a parent suffering from cancer - I mention it again because you may recognise some of the problems that have been raised there.  Also any other young people reading this may find it helpful.

    http://www.riprap.org.uk/

    Please don't try to struggle with this alone.  I was much older than you when my mum died and I found it very difficult.  Life can be very hard and we all need to lean on each other for support at times like this. 

    MacMillan Cancer Support is a very well-regarded UK charity who give help and advice to anyone who is suffering from cancer, caring for a loved one or who has lost a loved one.  Freefone number is 0808 808 0000.

    Please let us know how you are getting on.  Annie