I not sure what to say or even how I feel. My Mum has final lost her battle to this dreadful disease. Mum was diagnosed with bowel cancer on the 17th Jan 2018 which she was told it had spread to her liver and one of her kidneys they carried out further tests which showed it had also spread into her neck lymph nodes. What a shock this was to be told she had  incurable terminal cancer, she asked that question how long do I have in which they couldn’t give her an answer. During her short illness she lost over 2 stone and became weaker each passing day. Of course there is always that little part of yourself thinking that she would get better and that she would be able to have some treatment, they offered to do a biopsy as they didn’t actually know the primary site she was to weak for this to be done, she became bed bound and stopped eating and was only drinking small amounts she had a syringe driver fitted on Friday 22nd February in the morning which I believe managed her symptoms (thankfully I believe she wasn’t in a lot of pain anyway or that’s what she told us) Saturday she became worse and come early evening we believed this was going to it. She had all her family around her and took her last breath at 9.15pm on 24th February 2018. I believe she had a good pain free death with everyone she loved and who she loved surrounding her. I’m in total loss not only that we hadn’t time to get around the fact that she had terminal cancer but the fact it all happened in less than 6 weeks. Mum was my everything and a huge part in my life I can’t believe she is gone I keep thinking it’s all a dream and I may wake up. The only relief is that she wasn’t suffering for to long as much as I wish she was still with us and we as a family could have had more time with her I know in my heart she is free and I hope she is now watching over us. I’m sure within time this feeling will get better but I can’t stop crying and even the slightest thing sets me off.. I feel like an emotional rollercoaster but also have to show a brave face for my children who are also suffering as we were all extremely close.