Hello Grandma77.  My sympathy is with you as you have just lost your husband and I am pleased you have posted your thoughts about this here.  It must be heartbreaking that he went through all that gruelling treatment which ultimately had little long-term effect.  Of course there is just no way of knowing what would have transpired if he had not had all the treatment you listed; we can only do what seems to be the right thing at the time.  It sounds as though you are part of a strong family who will go through this together; just take things day by day as the longer future may look to be too difficult at this time.  It is good you celebrated your 40th wedding anniversary as that is a memory to hold onto when things are bad.  This will doubtless be a hard time for everyone with a grandad-shaped hole in your family so be kind to yourselves and talk to each other about what you are feeling.  Maybe we will hear from you again if you want to talk about how you are getting on.  Annie

Hello Grandma77.  My sympathy is with you as you have just lost your husband and I am pleased you have posted your thoughts about this here.  It must be heartbreaking that he went through all that gruelling treatment which ultimately had little long-term effect.  Of course there is just no way of knowing what would have transpired if he had not had all the treatment you listed; we can only do what seems to be the right thing at the time.  It sounds as though you are part of a strong family who will go through this together; just take things day by day as the longer future may look to be too difficult at this time.  It is good you celebrated your 40th wedding anniversary as that is a memory to hold onto when things are bad.  This will doubtless be a hard time for everyone with a grandad-shaped hole in your family so be kind to yourselves and talk to each other about what you are feeling.  Maybe we will hear from you again if you want to talk about how you are getting on.  Annie