My dad was diagnosed with tongue cancer a year ago. He had an op and had part of his tongue removed and reconstruction from his arm. 11 months later it was back in his nodes in his neck. They said that they couldn’t operate and was offering radio and maybe Chemo after.

less than 5 days into his Chemo he finished his 4th Chemo nd told them he wasn’t coping as he had difficulty swallowing they took him into an assessment ward where he was going to see a nutritionist I. The morning. During the early hours of the morning he passed away. Apparently he stopped breathing. They brought him back once but he died shortly after. I was called as well as my brother and we went to the hospital ASAP. I already knew he’d passed when the sister took us into the room. I cried so much that day. Even when I was able to see my dad I cried. We haven’t been able to collect the death certificate or register his death as we were waiting to see if he needed to be seen by a corenor. He doesn’t and we are collecting and registration his death tomorrow.

my mum died suddenly just over a year ago and I cried so much but I think I threw myself into getting my dad  threw the cancer he got diagnosed with 5 days after my mums death.

my question really is, my in earth am I not in bits about my dads death? I know it’s only been a week but I feel numb to it all.

is this normal? Am I just a selfish cow?

im also moving back into the family home with my brother, as it’s mortgage free and I currently rent. My heads a mess. Any one else in this situation or feeling this way?