Hi there bunni  .. welcome to our little chat room ... sorry your finding it so very hard at mo... if you read some of the threads on here, you will know, there's so many loosing loved ones, and finding the feelings unbearable too ... then you know they are feeling similar to you ...

There is no easy way through this time, it's all part of grieving, because we were blessed to have had someone we loved so much in our lives ... I've lost both, very much loved parents, while in my 30s and now have sister, with dementure, one with very painfull arthritis.. my cousin died of lung cancer in November... and me and my untie, dealing with breast cancer ... so wer all on a very painfull journey.. and what helps me, is there's lots on here going through their own journey with lots to deal with too ... 

Maybe you would find it helpful, now you've made the first move, to put more down, sometimes it helps just writting it all down ... that's a lovely photo you have put on ... they always live in our hearts .. that never goes ... so sending you a caring hug ... Chrissie xx