My Baby Sister.

I posted here a few weeks about coming to terms with my little sister's diagnosis with leukemia. 

We had been told that she had a very high chance of survival so deep down I really, truly thought that she would recover and beat it. 

But she didn't. After her first round of chemo she caught a bad chest infection and had to be put into a coma and intubated. But she eventually came out and was fine. It happened again after the first round of chemo so I stupidly wasn't that concerned because I thought she would push through again. 

 

Her sat's dropped even when she was intubated and 'bagged' and put on some sort of oxygen machine that was really a last resort as her lungs were giving in and her oxygen level was just dropping and dropping. The doctors told us to prepare to lose her, as most kids they had that were as sick as her didn't make it. 

Again, i thought 'not Freyja, she'll get through this', but she couldn't do it anymore and passed away just past 5am just this last friday, the 5th, an hour before I arrived at the hospital. But she died in her mum and dad's arms, with my older brother there. 

I just don't know how people are able to cope with grief like this. She was so happy and so perfect and yet she only got a year of life. I'm angry at myself for not visiting more when she was still alive (once or twice a week usually) and guilty every time I feel happy or do something I enjoy, i'm angry that she had to suffer and die when so many nasty, terrible people live long lives. It's just absolutely crippling that I will never see her alive again, when i completely believed that she would grow up with me and i'd always see her cheeky little smile, and have her in my life. It's physically painful that she isn't here anymore, I just don't know how I will ever find the strength to go back to college and revise for exams, or even to work. I'm not myself anymore without her.

 

  • Hello jazzy.  I am so saddened by the death of your little sister Freyja.  For small children to have to suffer and die from cancer is one of the many things I hate about cancer; the children tear me apart. 

    I have not been posting here for more than a month or so so have only just read your previous post.  As Chrissie has previously told you, you have been great throughout all this.  Although you say you have been a bit stroppy you have understood why your parents have been spending as much time as possible with Frejya.  Even when you were hurt you did your best to help by not complaining and that is not easy.  Please don't start blaming yourself now for things you feel you should have done.  I have known people much older than you who were not nearly so considerate and helpful.  You made it possible for your parents to be with Freyja as much as they were.

    Everyone in your family will be grieving in their own way and you need to give yourself time and space to do this.  Keep talking to your family so you can support each other.  I hope you make it to university but if you need to take a bit of time out now well that is perhaps possible and you can pick up the pieces when you are able to do so.  And if it all seems too difficult sometimes then do come back here and vent your feelings.

  • Hay there jazzy ... there's not much more I can add to annieliz, they are wise words ... all I would add, is picture your little sis watching you now, pain free, and looking at her big bro ... l bet she'd say thank you for loving me, and if you do things in the future when the raw pain lessens a tad, but you never stop missing them ... do it for her ... do those things in her memory, and l believe, they never leave us, we just can't see them ...

    My heartfelt thoughts are with you ... be kind to yourself ... most people I know have regrets and we all wish we could turn back time and do some things differently ... sending you a virtual hug ...Chrissie xx