Hi I’m so sorry 4 u loss of u dad and grandad . My gran passed away in June 2017 2 heart failure. My mother passed away in August 2017 2 bowel cancer . It’s so hard can’t really give u advice. Just wanted 2 say u not alone on here . Take care x 

I read your earlier post about the difficulties you had with your dad and the things that went wrong with the system.  That must have been awful for you and probably adds to your ongoing grief.  There is however no time limit on grieving.  I hope you have friends/family with whom you can talk about your losses and how you are feeling.  If not you might like to try ringing the Cruse Bereavement Care freefone 0808 808 1677 who have been helpful to others who have lost loved ones.  Or tell us here on this forum.  My very best wishes to you.

Thank you Annieliz, it's so hard to find the words to explain how I feel. I have it all in my head and when I go to say it, it all comes out backwards. I'm trying to throw myself into a fresh start, lifestyle change etc. I hate to think I'm trying to forget him but I feel it's my only chance of getting up and getting on with life. 

Hello, Major Tom (sorry, I had to call you that, I was a big David Bowie fan).  I imagine some of your new colleagues have lost parents and have had - may still be having - bad times too.  So they are not going to think anything odd about what you are going through.  I expect there are some people with whom you feel more at ease.  Your choice of timing of course - choose a good day.  Unless they are exceptionally nasty people they will understand.  I hope it might help you.  Annie