This just breaks my heart to read, I am so sorry for your loss and how u are feeling. I lost my dad 3 weeks ago and I feel so empty and like I'm in some sort of shock, I honestly thought the more time goes on the more things get easier but I feel it's getting worse . My dad was diagnosed a year ago with stage 4 cancer so everybody assumes we were prepared. My dad died at his home in France with me and my mum who cared for him for 12 months, just us two and nurses. I was close to my dad before, but this brought us so much closer together. We never discussed death or anything we always remained positive and then one day he stopped walking and talking and my best friend was fading away in front of me. I wanted to be by his side at the end, I wanted to reassure him I was there , but i am completely distraught over seeing him take his last breath and there was absolutely nothing I could do...i have moments during my day where all of a sudden i have this voice screaming in my head telling me my dad has died and I should do something and then I realise there Is nothing I can do, I have no energy left to scream or cry ,I feel as if I break now I don't know if I can be fixed.