Hi there and I'm so very sorry your  family are going through this tough time ...all I can tell you is my story and how my boys copped, when their nan died ... they were 8 and 16 and she was their best buddy she helped me with them from babies and my young one looked after her when she was in the last couple of years .. making sure she took her tablets helped her up the stairs ... my 16 year old was away having just joined the army ... they both knew she had had a few little heart attacks ... 

We lost her suddenly one afternoon with no notice ... I went to the hospital with my sister ... then someone came in with the "sorry, there was nothing we could do" I wanted to scream but logic kicked in ..how was it going to tell my boys .. I sat my young son on my lap and said you know nanny was poorly and had to take lots of tablets .. well nanny has gone to heaven now where she won't need that old walking stick, she's got no pain now, doesn't need tablets ... she's with her mummy and daddy ... and although well miss her, I'm sure she'll look down and keep an eye on us ....

My oldest son, I was dreading and they got him to the phone where I told him as gently as I could ... and they got him home quickly ... I took them both to the funeral never saying the word funeral... just were going somewhere to say good bye to nanny ...

So all in all , I would say gentle honesty is what children need .. they find a way of coping better then us adults ... they can cry and look broken hearted and the next hour they are doing something else ... and lots of hugs so they know you are all in this together, and you'll get each other through , together... they get confused when they feel shut out ... they don't realise we try to protect them ... so walk this journey holding each others hand ... my lads still miss her and put pictures of her on their face book, remembering that amazing nanny they had in their life , even though it's 27 years on ... and I can look back and think just maybe I did it right ..for us ... 

Thinking of you ... sending you loving thoughts to you all ... chrisie xx