Dear Holly,

I'm so sorry to hear about your nana. Our sincere condolences from everyone here at Cancer Chat.

As you asked for advice, there are a couple of pages I wanted to share with you and hopefully they can help you a little, the first one is a page from our website that talks about the grief process and offers some suggestions on how to deal with this difficult time, you can read more by clicking here. The other one, and perhaps the more appropriate to your age group is a platform similar to ours called riprap that helps teenagers to deal with the loss of a loved one to cancer.

I hope this information helps. And if you ever need a friendly ear we are here to listen.

Warm wishes,

Renata, Cancer Chat Moderator

Oh Holly...just want to send you a big big hug ... I wish there was an easy way through, but this pain your feeling is all part of loosing some one you love dearly .. my sons were 8 and 16 when they lost their amazing nanny... they still put pictures of her on their face book even 28 years down the line ... I'm sure she will be looking over you and checking your doing o.k  ... 

It's only time that eases the pain... but I think we miss them always ... and she lives on tucked up in your heart forever ... we always talk about my mum ... she did so many wonderful things , so when it gets overwhelming and sad ... remember a good memory... everything about her that made you smile ... and do that till the sadness gets replaced by a teary smile .... think what she would say to you ... but be kind to your heart first and know all those feelings are normal, lots of us have been there and if ever you need a shoulder were here and that chat room for teens will be a great place to speak to others your age ... so sending you a big hug ... take care hunny chrisie xx

Thank you, Chrisie

It helps to know that im not the only one going through this and thank you very much for your advice...it means a lot that people are looking out for me during this tough time. 

It is great to think that the cancer has no hold on her anymore which is something that me and my family can hold onto and be thankful for.

Thanks again

Holly xx:)

Hi Holly,

I am so sorry to hear that your precious nan has passed and, offer my sincere sympathy to you and your family. As a young teenager, you must be finding this very difficult to cope with and I feel for you.

I lost my mum to cancer 20 years ago. She had it for 12 years and, it was only in her last year that she was told it had spread to her brain, liver, lungs and bone. I still miss her every day, but not in the ‘raw’ way that I did just at first. I have come to terms with her death and, am glad that she is no longer suffering and in pain. I note that you and your family feel the same about your nan. I am now fighting again on my own behalf, as I have had 2 bouts of breast cancer – the first 7 years ago and the second 6 years ago.

I do hope that your family are all helping each other through this hard time. It is so much easier for all of you if you can talk about her, about the happy times as well as the sad. Do you have a picture of your nan?  I keep one of my mum in my living room and, daft as it may sound, I often chat to her in passing. I feel that she walks beside me in everything I do and, has been with me in any achievements I have attained since her passing.

You will find this first year especially tough, as birthdays, anniversaries and holidays will all bring back family times that she is no longer here for in person, but raise a toast to her at Christmas, as she may not be with you in person, but I’m sure that she will be there with you all in spirit.

If you continue to have difficulty, would you consider talking to a counsellor?  This is not for everyone, but it does help some people a lot. Many of the cancer charities offer this as a free service.

There is also another website for teenagers who are going through the ravages of cancer. You might find it helpful to be able to talk to other people of your own age, who have experienced death first-hand too. So often, you find that school friends who haven’t had to deal with cancer, don’t really appreciate the heart-ache you are going through. This site is called riprap and I see that Renata has already pointed you in that direction.

Thinking of you all and praying that your grief eases with the passage of time.

We are always here for you, if you ever want to talk.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx