Hi Shaun, 

I'm so sorry to read that your mum passed away last night and on behalf of everyone here at Cancer Chat I would like to offer you our heartfelt condolences at ths time.

Although it may not seem like it right now, it will get better with time as so many of our members here know and I'm sure they will reply soon to offer their support and share their experiences with you.

I have included some information about coping with loss which I hope will be of some help to you at this time but remember that we are here for you and will do what we can to help you through this difficult time.

Kind regards, 

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

hello very sorry for your loss. my mum died on Sunday she had battled cancer for 3 years and Sunday just before noon she left us. me and my mum were very close she was only 59 and loved life I am 31. everyone keeps telling me to get up and carry on but I am stuck in one place unable to function. the pain is so much to bare. x

Hi Shaun, I am so sorry for your loss. Your post resonated with me and I just wanted to reach out.  My mum passed away in January after a 5 year battle with blood cancer.  Her treatment came to an end last October so we both knew we were on a countdown. Having some time to get things sorted and be at her side in her final weeks brings me a great sense of comfort. It doesn't however make the pain any less. What I have found is that the world keeps turning even when I don't want to jump on for the ride. There will be random moments when something will just grab me and pull me off balance and I'll have a wobble.  Because some time has passed, others have moved on with their lives, which is fair enough. This can however make it harder to reach out and show or say I am having a moment and can be particularly difficult if I'm in the supermarket or on the bus. The only advice I can give is weep when you need to, scream when you want to and talk to friends/family or even people on this site who will understand.  If there is a Peace Hospice nearby, I would self refer for counselling. I also have found the poem 'She Is Gone' really soothing when I am having a bad day and as a mother myself, I know that I'd want my kids to remember me with smiles rather than tears. I wish you strength on your journey.

Hello Shaun

It is a year this week since my dad passed away. It seems like yesterday but the numbness does go away. The heartpain and emotion takes about 6 months to lift and life goes on, everyone is wonderful but inside you feel they don't know your pain - some do Shaun , some don't

Keep strong for yourself and your family x

Tessa

Hi Shaun, so sorry to read your post. My deepest condolences to you.

I lost my mam in January this year, to Pancreatic Cancer.   She was 76 but a young 76.  I’m 45.  We had 3wks with her from start of her diagnosis to the day she passed.  I cared for her those last few weeks at home.  When she passed the 11th January, I was literally broken, numb, I couldn’t eat, sleep or concentrate, all sorts of emotions.  We were always together her and I.  I had to step right in to care for my dad whom is disabled. So I’ve never grieved for my mam.

It doesn’t get easier, we just start learning to live with our loss.

i was diagnosed myself in August with BC and that’s when it started to hit me that I needed my mam, even at the age of 44.  Friday just gone I’m not going to lie I just woke up put one foot out of bed and the tears just fell and I was like that all day.  I sobbed.

Take time to grieve.  At the moment your world has collapsed and you think your never going to cope without your mam, but she’ll be by your side with every step you take.  I’m sure of it