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I'm so lost.

Hammy
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My mum passed away on the 28/09/17. Her sister, my wonderful Aunt passed away 23/07/17 the day before my mum's birthday. My dad passed away 5/06/17. All died from cancer. My poor mum was in pain right to the end!!!! And she fought so hard to stay with us because of her beautiful grandsons. I just miss them all so much. My lil sis was so close to my mum and i feel the need to replace mum. My lil bro has mental health issues and my dad and mum asked me on their death beds to look after him. which i have done anyway all of his life. My eldest brother blames me for the death of our mum. He was very horrible to me the day mum passed, he was physical and very abusive with me, and talked my syblings round to his way of thinking. Now he is taking advantage of my lil bro and the money he inherited from my dad. (my big bro and lil bro r only half brothers). I put up with my eldest brother because of my other syblings, they don't believe me, my only saving grace is my lil brother has lean't my big bro a lot of money which he was supposed to pay back last month!! Now the family r getting a bit ***. Maybe it's because of this that i can't cope, or that we have lost three family members in such a short time, or because i feel the need to look after my syblings, or that my eldest brother scares the crap outa me!!!!!!!!!! I want to die!!!! I'm drinking, not sleeping, angry all the time, feel worthless fighting with my husband. I'm so angry all the time and feel i have lost control!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

  • Hello Hammy,

    I just wanted to welcome you to our forum and say that I'm so sorry to hear that you lost so many people close to you and for this situation you are facing with your family.

    I can't begin to imagine the pain you are going through at the moment but I'm glad you reached out to us as I'm sure some of our members will come along shortly to chat with you and offer their support.

    Until then, there is some information on our website about coping with grief I wanted to share with you and I hope this can help a little.

    Also, it might be a good idea to consider speaking to a professional that can help you to deal with your grief and current situation, in case you are not doing this already. The Samaritans too can be reached on this number 116 123,  24 hours a day, 365 days a year, if you feel like chatting with someone on the phone.

    Stay strong and just remember you're not alone Hammy.

    All the best,

    Renata, Cancer Chat Moderator

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    Hi there ... bless ya, you have had so much to deal with, no wonder your feeling so low ... can you see your dr and tell him how hard your finding things at mo ...he may be able to get you counselling or some tablets to help you get through for awhile ... it’s good to write those feelings down and hope you feel a tad better for doing that... 

    have you got children... if so you need to find the courage to go on for them ... it sounds like your older brother is causing you more grief then you can handle ... can you tell your little bro not to give his money away as his dad would want him to have that ....

    if it gets overwhelming, that is a good idea of Renata to say about the Samaritans... try to reach out , this is a good start ... I’m sure your husband must feel a bit helpless at the mo, seeing how much your having to deal with ... try not to push him away, he just may help you through this ...

    take care, hope you get the help you need, but there’s always someone here to listen if you need it .. Chrisie xx

     

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