Just would like to say thanks to everyone on here as it has given me solice knowing I am not going through this alone.

This is the first time I have written anything but I have been reading the posts for months. 

My lovely dad lost his battle with cancer last month so it is obviously very raw still and his terminal diagnosis was at the end of August. I have gone back to work but can not focus and keep thinking and obsessing about his final few weeks. I keep reading that in time you remember the good bits.

I'm trying not to feel angry at the NHS as it took so long for them to diagnose the cancer but it's hard at the moment not to feel bitter about it. 

What a cocktail of emotions which erupt daily ... I just can't feel positive about anything at the moment and often think what the point is if everyone we love dies. Sorry for being so depressive .