I can't believe he's gone

My dad passed away just over two weeks ago. He lived with stage IV malignant melanoma for over 3 1/2 years, but towards the end it just took hold and he faded so quickly. We found out on the Wednesday that he was terminal (he was lined up to go on a trial) and by the Saturday he was in a hospice, and died three weeks later. It was so difficult seeing him towards the end, he was so weak and so thin, and it broke my heart to see him dying. He was so strong about it, and he never complained. We were all with him when he died, and although it was peaceful, I so desperately didn't want him to go. The pain I felt when he died was overwhelming, and although I don't feel like that all the time now, I either feel completely devastated and heartbroken, or I don't really believe he's not coming back. I don't know whether that's normal but it feels like he's just away somewhere and that he'll be back soon. I can't really believe he's gone forever. Does anyone else feel like that. 

Parents
  • Hi there ... it's so hard losing a parent , esp one you love so much ... in the early days it really does seem overwhelming and unreal ... I've lost both mum and dad ... mum quickly and dad slowly ... all I can say is every time I thought of dad , I pushed the last painfull memories away and made my self remember the dad that told me stories he'd made up and the little magic tricks he did when we were small and how he loved my boys .. and how wonderful he was ... I refuse to think of him any other way ... that way you still miss them but their smiles will live in your heart forever ... 

    l believe they watch us from up there ... and I bet your dad would not want to see you hurting so ... I found the first year the hardest as I always thought 'this time last year' ... all feelings now are normal ... weather is anger their not here any more ... sadness ... feeling lost ... and the tears ... it's all part of the way we feel ... but try and think what they would say if they could see you ... 

    my thoughts are with you both on here ... big big hug Chrisie x

Reply
  • Hi there ... it's so hard losing a parent , esp one you love so much ... in the early days it really does seem overwhelming and unreal ... I've lost both mum and dad ... mum quickly and dad slowly ... all I can say is every time I thought of dad , I pushed the last painfull memories away and made my self remember the dad that told me stories he'd made up and the little magic tricks he did when we were small and how he loved my boys .. and how wonderful he was ... I refuse to think of him any other way ... that way you still miss them but their smiles will live in your heart forever ... 

    l believe they watch us from up there ... and I bet your dad would not want to see you hurting so ... I found the first year the hardest as I always thought 'this time last year' ... all feelings now are normal ... weather is anger their not here any more ... sadness ... feeling lost ... and the tears ... it's all part of the way we feel ... but try and think what they would say if they could see you ... 

    my thoughts are with you both on here ... big big hug Chrisie x

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