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Finding it hard to cope with my loss.

Jimboladdie
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Hi ,my name is Chris has any one lost someone to asbestos related cancer ,Mesothelomia took my husband within 2months of diagnosis.He went from being healthy and active and full of life.

This form of cancer cannot be treated and my poor husband did not even have time to take it in.I am just venting but feel angry that he never stood a chance.The district nurses were wonderful and I cared for him at home .

He passed away peacefully in my arms in his own bed,he was such a sweet kind man and the pain won't go.l just feel so angry that employers knew that exposure to asbestos could  cause this kind of cancer .my husband never new that being a hard working employee in the 1980 ,s was in fact going to cause him to die a cruel and painful death.I feel I have lost the best part of me I can't stop feeling sick at the thought of not seeing him again.

It was eight months ago and it's hard  to know what you do when you realise how final it all is .Memories are good but the hardest thing for me is going to bed without my lovely Jim.

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    My heart goes out to you.  I am coping with stage 4 lung cancer as a carer for my hubby.  I dread this happening to me, I can't begin to think how you cope.  Your anger is OK, mine is at Doctors who did nothing for 6 months, but anger is wasted energy,  remember the good times and let yourself grieve in the way best for you.  There are lots of people on this forum always ready to chat, use it to vent your feelings.   Take care of your.   Carol x

  • Offline in reply to Dor06

    Thank you Carol,be strong it was the only way I got through we tried to laugh and talk ,remembered the good times take care and Kind Regards to you and yours .

    Take care chris

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    Hello ..my sincere condolances for your loss . We lost my beloved Dad a year ago next Sunday to pleural mesothelioma ..the speed it took hold of him was unbelievable . It was a passing comment my dad made to an a/e doctor about working with asbestos in the 1970 s it snowballed from there onwards ..he started getting off colour in may 2016 and he died Sept 17 2016 ..I have never seen a person deteriorate so fast it was un real. It's been a extremely tough year as it will have been for you . They say time heals but I just can't ever imagine it not hurting so much ..we go through the motions of daily life because we have to ...not because we want to ..my life seems to have stopped still for a while ....because dad isn't here anymore . Take care and hugs to you at this sad time Sarah
  • Offline in reply to fategg12

    Hi my names jayne I have also lost both my mom and dad to diabetes and overian cancer by the time I turned 38 ,I can only tell you to take one day at a time it's been 20 years since I lost dad and 11 since Mom.Ive learnt to be grateful for the time I spent with them and years / anniversarys are easier to deal with as I know they would want be to be happy and live my life .As a family we talk everyday about them it helps me to feel close to them and they are never far from my thoughts I hope you will find a way to cope with your loss and look to the future in my thoughts x

  • Offline in reply to fategg12

    Thanks Sarah,l appreciate your words and I feel you understand how I feel.l think cancer is terrible for anyone but mesothelomia is so nasty because you don't know it's there until it's to late.

    I am so sorry for your loss the pain we feel is so real and it hurts when you love someone and feel hopeless that you can't do anything about what happens. My Jim was a hard working man just like your Dad I am sure providing for his family not knowing the price they would pay .I have lost my best friend and a kind gentle man has gone just like your Dad they were not protected in the work place .I was told my husband would have had at least fifteen more years if he had not been exposed to what is known as killer dust.

    warmth and hugs to you and yours thanks for taking time to reply take care always 

    Chrisx

  • Offline in reply to Jayjay1969

    Thanks JayJayyou seem so strong and brave love and warmth to you.My family are around me and we talk and spend time together.my husband Jim was my best friend as well I try to listen to our music and think of our lovely memories but it hurts I feel like I am missing something inside. People keep saying it will get better and to move on but I never chose to have my husband leave me .we had no choice cancer is cruel just wish I knew whyt there is so much suffering in the world .You take care of yourself Chrisx

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    Hello Chris, I lost my husband three weeks ago to this what I call evil disease mesothelioma . He died nine weeks after onset of symptoms - a painful shoulder. The speed and severity of his illness was unbelievable. Like you I feel cheated that my husband became so ill so quickly that he did not get the chance for any form of treatment. I am now trying my best to keep functioning for my two teenage children. We take each day as it comes. Cry when we want to and smile when we can! We've all started counselling which I hope will help. Thinking of you, take care x
  • Offline in reply to Fogtyne
    Hi there my love thanks for you message and hug s and warmth to you all. It seems to be the same story everyone I speak to one day you think you have all the time in the world, next thing this evil disease takes our loved ones away. I wish all the best to you we have no choice but to carry on but how do you get over losing a husband and father .My doctor has been good to me he said your body is in shock and you do things your own way.I cry a lot but trying to remember the lovely man I married helps me. I have lit a candles every day since I lost him I will light one for you yours . Take care always Chrisxx

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