Hi there ... it must seem just overwhelming for you right now ... but try to do and think one thing at a time coz when you look at the whole picture it's just unbearable. ...

i know what you mean "why does it happen to the lovely ones" as when I worked at maternity it seemed like it was the wonderful couples that either lost babies or had little ones with problems ... 

wish l could answer it ... but I do remember when l lost my mum who was so wonderful and every one called her 'mum' one of my friends said .. if you were god who would you want to be there .. someone who doesn't give a dam or someone funny , kind  and loving ....in a round about way it made sense ... but it didn't stop me wanting her back .. 

i still 27years later look up to the sky every night and tell her everything I would tell her if she were here .. and it helps to think 'what they would say to you now if they could see how your heart was breaking '  

we'll keep in touch ... take care of your heart ... big big hug ️ X