Hi there

I would just like to write a little about the last year as it will be 1 year on 3rd September that I lost my dear dad

My dad passed away from Unknown cancer around the liver / gall bladder and secondary on the lungs, he was diagnosed in Dec 2015 and started chemo in Jan 2016 which he done really well on, but in June he developed high bilirubin levels and they had to stop the chemo and try and get this under control. I worked hard to research ways to do this, even down to juicing carrots and dad drinking this daily, but it was never to be as my dad deterioted within a week and passed away.

The first few months I found were strange but a lot easier to get through then I thought, I think as a family you are aware that a new way of living without your family member has to be found and this I feel occupy you all as you are left to support each other and also so does keeping your loved one memories alive so busy looking at ways to remember , I.e we continued to support Fulham football and attended matches as a family. I felt that once I had reached the 6-7 month mark that it started to get a little harder, not sure if that is because life has continued and new experiences are involved which your family member was not around to see as well, but not in a really sad way as when the passing happened, and you also forget the images of when your deceased was very ill and it is sort of replaced by the happier and funny memories. 

My mum has since joined a widows club and has started to form the next phrase of her life by finding new interests, she also had her first real dream of my dad this week where she actually saw his face and hugged him hard, to me that is my dad saying "hi, I am here " , not sure my mum was ready for this until now, myself and my siblings also have found a little more time for each other and do more activities as a group. My nephew wife is due her second baby which she was given her due date of the 2nd Sep, my dad adored his first Great grandchild ,who is 2 and a half and has once or twice when at my mums says "hello grandad" spontaneously, (if only I could see what he sees). 

I think what I am trying to say , which there is not to many postings , is that "yes" we know life has to go on but it can do in a different way of thinking and still includes your beloved loved ones that have passed. We always talk of dad as present not passed and I truly believe he is here in spirit and in my thoughts and mind ....they are after all only in the next room waiting for us...