I am so sorry to hear about your Mum and offer you my sincere condolences.
What type of cancer did she have and how long had she had it for? I lost my Mum 20 years ago to metastases from breast cancer. She survived for 12 years after diagnoses and was only told about the secondaries in her final year. She deteriorated very quickly after that and it was heart-breaking to watch. I still miss her to this day, although I have come to terms with losing her and I still feel her spirit beside me at certain times.
All people deal with grief in different ways. You will cope, but it takes time. The first stage is her funeral, which I'm sure that you are dreading. When you say your goodbyes there , your grief will really commence. Until then, I expect that you will be on auto-pilot, with funeral arrangements, etc. Do you have other siblings or family to help you through this process? - It makes such a difference when you have someone you can talk to and confide in.
I don't know when the funeral is, but I pray that you have the strength to see it through. If you need support there is always someone here whenever you feel like talking.
