Did you visit your mum in the chapel of rest? Mum and dad were put in coffins side by side and covered with a blanket to look like they were in bed sleeping. It was a nice touch. I did mums hair and makeup but she didn't look like my mum. My dad looked just as he did when he was here, just asleep. Dad passed instantly while he was talking about mum, although the paramedics tried for 50 minutes to revive him, I wonder if that's why he looked peaceful. My mum however looked pained and frightened in the chapel of rest and that image has stayed with me. I visited the chapel everyday cos just seeing them comforted me. How are you feeling now? Do you think it will ever get easier?

I'm so so sorry to read your post, I know 2 years have passed since this post so I'm hoping this msg may still reach you. My mum has kidney cancer and today she had cryoablation and suffered a haemorrhage and is now in intensive care. She is my best friend, I also go on holidays with her and we live together atm. She is my world so I can only imagine the heartbreak you must have suffered losing her.

No I didn't visit her there, we only found out mum had cancer in May, we where never told it was terminal or only had a little while left, she wasn't doing to bad, we where all dealing with it the best we could and talking about doing things she always wanted to do, then she took a turn for the worse, the hospital said they couldn't do anything for her so Mum & Dad decided she would die at home with the help off hospice nurses, I moved in with them for a week and half and myself and Dad took it in turns to sit by her bed thoughout the night, she died on the Friday morning with my Dad and me by her side, I don't know if she new we where there as the last three days she was so sedated as was in a lot of pain and didn't even move or speak in them 3 days,  I think for me, only finding out 3 months before then her dieing its what's eating me up inside, I never had time to do things we talked about or say the things I wanted to say, I know she know what I thought but it happened so quickly and Being there when she died, that's the image I try to forgot but I am struggling with x 

I'm so sorry to hear what you and your family went through, it's such a cruel disease. It is so hard watching someone you adore deteriorate like that and I'm sure you gave great comfort to your mum and dad having you there. I'm sure your mum knew you were there. How is your dad coping? My dad just didn't want to be without mum after all that time and I know mum would have wanted him with her. I needed him hear but I guess mum needed him more. Do you feel angry when you see the world carrying on around you like nothing has happened when your world has been devastated. Thank you so much for taking the time to talk to me, it's such a release to talk to someone that is in   a similar position but not a part of the family. 
huge hugs xx

Hi,

I hope you don't mind me replying but I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry for what you're going through. I don't think you ever get a better best friend than your mum and my heart breaks for you. Please don't give up hope. Sending prayers for you both xx

And thank you to all the other people on here that keep sending such nice messages, its nice to just talk to people that have gone through or going through the same sort of thing, I dont want to speak to my Dad to much about how I am feeling as do not want to upset him xx

Chrissyj, 

I'm sorry to hear about your mum and wish her all the best. My mum died of a brain hemorrhage 21 weeks ago so I know the way you must be feeling.

Hoping for the best.

Cheryl x

Does your dad not like talking about your mum? What I have found is it helps me to talk about my mum and dad, I suppose because I want to keep them with me but I know my sister doesn't like talking about them at all and I know my niece is desperate for her to talk about them but doesn't like to mention them in case it upsets my sister.