Hello all.
I don't really know where to turn and after viewing these forums for a while, I thought I would post. I'm 25 years old and I recently lost my mum to stage 4 Colon Cancer last month. She had been fighting it for five years but the last six months were a struggle with her being admitted to hospital for various infections until she finally couldn't fight any longer.
Since her passing i just feel broken inside. I've tried for years to prepare myself in case this would happen but there's no explaining how I feel. I'm trying to look after my dad and brother but I'm just finding it really hard. I don't live with my dad and brother anymore and I'm constantly worrying about them. My dad has done amazing but I know he is struggling too. My family have been amazing and especially my wife. She has been there for me every day of my moms journey and since her passing and I would seriously be in an even worse place if it wasn't for her. Since my moms passing all I've found myself doing is sitting at my computer playing games, it's the only way I can put myself in another world and just forget about what has happened but I know it's affecting my wife as I've been distant the last month but I just can't bring myself to just sit and watch tv because my mind goes in to overdrive.
Ive been back to work the last two weeks and everyone has been great but I'm sick to death of hearing cliches like 'she's in a better place' or 'things will get easier in time'. I know they're trying to help but I'm just not ready to hear these things yet.
Does anyone have any coping methods which might help? I know my life is not going to be the same again but I don't want to act the way I am now because I'm just going to end up pushing people away and that would leave me heartbroken.
Sorry for the essay, just needed to get things off my chest.