I lost my mum last night, I truly don't know how to cope. I was with her at the end and am so confused as to if she in any pain Or knew I was with her.

i also don't know if I should visit her in the chapel of rest. Did you go and see your dad? Will she look like her? 

I feel like my heart has broken. X

Hi Chrissie,

So sorry for your loss hun, she shouldnt of been in any pain if they placed her on the syringe driver they mix so many sorts of medicines in for pain relief and a sedative which puts them into a deep sleep its a horrible thing to have to witness i can still hear my dads breathing and how he was when he took his final breaths bless him if you was talking to your mum and holding her hand like i was with my dad then she would definetly no you was there the nurses spoke to my dad and asked him to respond in ways like blinking squeezing hand or moving thumb as he was unable to speak in the final stage bless him and they say the hearing is last to go we sat there talking, playing and singing some of his favourite music softly. My dad turned cold and when he passed i kissed him one last time we sat with him for a while before the undertakers came to collect him but once i left the room i never went back in as was just so hard. I didnt see my dad in the chapel because he wasnt embalmed my dad wasnt religous and i wouldnt of gone to see him regardless as my dad didnt want us viewing him and remembering him like that i can imagine the body looks very different after the undertakers keep them in a freezer so id personally say no but everyone is different my mum went to see her mum in the chapel regulary when she passed. 

Sending hugs. Xxxx

Thank you for your message.

i am the same all I can picture in my head is her lying in that bed struggling to breathe. 

I just can't understand where she has gone? Surely that can't be it? I keep talking out loud to her in the hope she can hear me. 

This is the worst pain I have ever experienced. I just want her back. Maybe I should join her? Will she be waiting for me?