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Grief, the loneliest emotion in the world

JadeyJade
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My mom was diagnosed in August 2016, and died in January 2017 after an excruciating battle with Stage 4 Colon cancer at the age of 53. For the last 6 months my whole world has been turned upside down - I have experienced every emotion there is. I spent a month doing a long distance hike in an attempt to "deal with it"... and things got better, I felt better.

Then the 6 month mark hit, and it has all been so incredibly emotional again. I have recurring dreams of my mom in  all different circumstances, every week. I just feel so alone, so lost. I can so easily push the thoughts and feelings away when I'm with people, but at the end of the day when I'm alone I just cry and cry. The realisation that my mom is gone - my best friend, my whole world, is devastating. 

I just thought that with time grief softens, but it doesnt feel like that at all. If anything, it feels worse. The shock has worn away, and it's so very real. 

Life is just so unfair. My mom was my everything, my best friend. Now she is gone, and I feel so lost. 

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    I am so sorry for your pain, I am in the final weeks with my husband, who just turned 58, I am already grieving for what I am about to loose,and terrified of what's to come, 

     

    But do keep talking to others, so that you can in the end get to a place, where you can celebrate the love you have for your wonderful mum, and counselling does help, 

    i know people say it, but very early days for you, and my sadness is I know, I will be in same place as you, but hope you have good friends and family around you.

    stay as strong as you can, your mum would be proud.

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    Dear JadeyJade I am sorry that you have lost your mum in such a cruel way. Grief knows no bounds and it is such a personal things. My 35 year old son also died in January, he was diagnosed in April 2016 despite going to the doctors for over a year before that. Although we knew that it was very unlikely that he would win the cancer fight, and had precious time with him it stills hits you like a cannonball when the fight is lost. We too are six months down the line and I think it just gets worse and worse. I have a husband and two lovely daughters and we are all in our own bubbles of grief. I don't have any words that will be of comfort to you and for that I am sorry. I just go through the motions at the moment which is so bad as I have an adorable 2 year old grandson and my family it is hard. I think about all the people that this terrible disease has touched, so many lives changed forever. There are good stories on this site and I am so pleased for those people, but the people like us who have lost somebody they loved so much will never been the same. Our family has to learn to live our lives without Jonathan in it and I don't know how we will manage that. So I send you my love xx leslie
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    Hi Jadeyjade

    I lost my dad 4 weeks ago after a short but valiant fight against leukaemia, he was diagnosed in March 17 and passed in June.

    I was still trying to come to terms with his diagnosis when they informed us he was terminal. 

    I still feel like this is all happening to someone else and its not real, but I know it is going to sink in eventually. 

    I think every day that passes it does get that bit harder as you realise how much time has passed since you last saw them and that hurts.

    Take time for yourself and allow yourself to grieve, accept counselling if it is on offer, it may help to talk to someone who isn't close and will listen to all you have to say.

    Thinking of you

    Beth xx

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    Jade I am so sorry for your loss xx 

    I lost my mum last year in June to colon cancer too,  she battled it for just over a year and it was so tough. We were convinced that she would get better and then she just didn't. She was 52 when she died. I I'm 21, I have my whole life ahead of me and she's going to miss everything in it. my dad was never around so me and mum were so very close, life without her is just empty. 

    Have you tried counselling? It's something I've been told to do but I'm not sure whether it's for me or whether it will help in the slightest?! Everyone says it gets easier don't they but I'm still patiently waiting for that day to come! 

    I really hope you're as ok as you can be, I don't have any advice to give as I'm still finding it really hard myself but if you want to talk or share stories (how cringey does that sound?!) then please feel free to message me anytime x 

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    Dear JadeyJade I totally understand the grief you are going through. It will be 2 years the end of August since my husband passed away. I thought the first year was bad but now I understand when people say the second is the hardest. I find every day a struggle to get through and the sadness does not get any better. I think we learn to put on a brave face and keep on going. I wish you all the best and will be thinking of you.

     

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