hello. I would like to offer you my sincere condolences at this very difficult time for you. I know only too well what it feels like to be left on your own. Like you, I cared for my husband at home on his journey with lung cancer and as you so rightly say, it is very hard. Alan only had 6 months from diagnosis to death and in that  time, apart from getting everything financial in order, I never ever gave a thought to how I would cope on my own. I do however take comfort from knowing that I looked after him the best that I could, struggling at times, but he had his wish to die at home.

Well here I am 1 year down the line still adjusting to life on my own which at times is difficult but I do look back and think that Alan is at peace and I did everything I could to make his journey tolerable.

Remember, you have already coped with so much while Andy was ill and you will find the strength to carry on.

Sending my kindest thoughts to you.

Lynne.

Hi Froggybinou, 

I'm really sorry to read about the passing of your husband Andy and on behalf of the moderation team I wanted to offer you our heartfelt condolences on your loss.

I know you said your family are abroad but your Cancer Chat family are here to support and help you through this difficult time. I have included some information about coping with grief which I hope will help as well.

Our thoughts are with you at this time.

Kind regards, 

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hello Lynne, thank you so much for taking the time to reply to me. I have just read your introduction post and found that Alan and Andy were both diagnosed in January 2016. I am sorry that you only had 6 months from diagnosis to his passing, it is so difficult isn't it? 

Andy went through 2 different lots of chemo, with neither having any effect unfortunately... They stopped all treatments at the end of 2016 and we were told he had 1 year, or less.... It was very shocking for us, as at the time Andy was still feeling well and very active, repairing an old 2nd hand motorhome we bought hoping to be able to enjoy it this summer for a last holiday... but sadly we will never get to use it now and I have to try and sell it without a MOT :( 

At the moment, I honestly feel like I will never ever get over it. He was only 63 and very strong and fought so very bravely! I was very worried that he would pass away on my 40th birthday on 6th July but he bravely held on and even had a little sip of champagne with me (very small but meaningful). We have been together for 18 years, so almost half my life, how can I possibly carry on without him? I need him to guide me, to give me his always good advice, even if I didn't always recognise he was right until later! He was my only family here in England, the only person I trusted here... 

Like your husband, mine didn't want to go to the Hospice at all! Not even go and visit it when he was still well enough. He wanted to die at home, in his own bed, and that's what we all worked very hard to achieve. And we did. And I was here, next to him when he finally drew his last breath and I'll forever take comfort in knowing he had his last wish fulfilled.

Once again, thank you for your kind words Lynne, I wish you all the very best.

Christelle

Hi Christelle

My heart goes out to you, I'm so sorry for your loss. It's just over three months since my husband died and I'm not sure I've hit the bottom yet although I've had some very dark days. I wish I lived closer to you so I could help and give you a physical shoulder to cry on. Please keep posting here so that we can support each other and send me a private message when you feel up to it.

Love Sue

X

Hi my husband passed away two months ago. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer just before Christmas.up till now been coping ok but now finding it so hard crying a lot especially at night when on my own. He was 57  we married over 25 years got 22 year old daughter. From mand.