Hi,

I am so sorry to hear about your Dad. My sincere sympathy to both you and your Mum. Losing your Dad to Cancer must have been a harrowing experience for a 17 year old.

The mood swings you describe are all perfectly natural parts of grief and stress and there is no doubt that you have definitely been through a stressful time.

I feel for you when you mention the bullying you had at school. I had years of this and nobody to champion my corner. You were lucky that your Dad stepped in.

One of the most frustrating things about cancer is that there is so little that family can do to help their loved ones. Grief affects people in different ways and it takes some people longer to come to terms with it than others.

I lost my Mum to secondary cancer many years ago and I still miss her every day, but I have gradually come to accept it.

You said that your Mum doesn’t want help from anyone, even though she is not coping, Would she consider seeing a counsellor? If not perhaps you could go along first and she might change her mind once she sees how much it will have helped you. There are several organisations such as MacMillan or Maggies for example. These offer free counselling, although you have to book for your appointment in advance.

If you have a local Maggies you can also pop in for a cup of tea and a chat at any time. They also offer various alternative therapies if you feel that this might help you to relax?

I do hope that, with the passage of time, things will get better for both you and your Mum.

There is always someone here if you want to chat.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx