Cancer Research UK main site
  • Replies 31 replies
  • Views 4365 views
  • Users 0 members are here

Lost my dad

BethR1
Offline

Hi all

I lost my dad yesterday after a short battle with aml, he was diagnosed after being rushed to hospital on the 1st of March this year.  He then spent the next 3 months in hospital having 2 rounds of intensive chemo and fighting infection after infection.  He was moved to the hospice Tuesday this week and passed yesterday with my mum, myself and my sister by his side.

I feel so lost.... I know he is better off now as he was in a sorry state towards the end, but I just wasn't ready for him to go.  I am glad I was there with him and he knew how loved he was, but I also am struggling with seeing my dad die.  I spent every single day by his side whilst he was away from and woke up this morning feeling like I had no purpose in life.  I would have done the hospital run every day for eternity if it meant I got to keep him.

I miss him so much

Beth

Parents
  • Offline

    I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my mum on Monday after an 8 month battle with lung cancer. Some say I am lucky that I had a chance to see her and spend time with her but like you I am completely lost now. 

    She died in the hospice with me, my sister and step dad with her. I am trying to believe she knew I was with her but can't shake the image of her face and breathing from my mind.

    my heart feels like it is breaking and am struggling to cope. 

    Woukd be good to chat with you and hopefully offer each other some comfort xx

  • Offline in reply to Chrissie80
    Hi Chrissie Sorry to hear you have lost your mum, big hugs to you. It is such a difficult thing being there with them, I try my hardest not to think about dad going, but it is so hard. Always here if you want to chat xx
  • Offline in reply to BethR1
    I am really struggling lately, feel like I am in such a dark place :( . I am finding it so hard to even start to think about him being gone. I can't move forward xx
  • Offline in reply to BethR1

    Hi Beth I feel exactly the same. Just want dad back. Wake up everyday dreading it knowing he's not here. I've been going to church which helps a little as I feel closer to him. When will it get easier. I spoke to a lady the other day who said her dad dies 11 years ago and she still can't get over it. It's so so hard. 

     

    Mary xxx

Reply
  • Offline in reply to BethR1

    Hi Beth I feel exactly the same. Just want dad back. Wake up everyday dreading it knowing he's not here. I've been going to church which helps a little as I feel closer to him. When will it get easier. I spoke to a lady the other day who said her dad dies 11 years ago and she still can't get over it. It's so so hard. 

     

    Mary xxx

Children
No Data

Speak to a nurse

Quick links

Follow us

Registered with Fundraising Regulator (logo)
Cancer Research UK is a registered charity in England and Wales (1089464), Scotland (SC041666), the Isle of Man (1103) and Jersey (247). A company limited by guarantee. Registered company in England and Wales (4325234) and the Isle of Man (5713F). Registered address: 2 Redman Place, London, E20 1JQ.