My one in a million auntie died on Sunday after on long hard thought battle with this cruel disease. She was 64

At the moment I go through stage of shock, disbelief, anger, guilt and sadness.

I have never been with anyone before in there final

moments...but I had to be with her and all the nastiness of the past two years, when she went it was beautiful, I felt so relieved for her as I knew she wasn't suffering anymore.

My Aunt didn't have any children so she was like a mum, I always felt so lucky to have two mums. She was absolutely crazy, she was a nurse and cared about  everyone else with little thought for herself and she still did this right until the end.

When she first found out she had cancer it was a watching and waiting game, she became really sick in February and that's when the chemo began...I honestly thought she was going to beat this and we would have years left with her. 

I had moved to Plymouth and she was in wales, but during the final months I made sure I saw her at every opportunity I could. I thought nothing of bombing up the M4 to be with her. It was only last month we had my birthday together, I didn't want to believe it then but looking back the tell tell signs that she was seriously ill where there.

Three weeks ago she went into hospital, bowel obstruction and they need to operate, it was her only chance. I cried when I heard the voicemail message she left my mum before the surgery, telling my mum not to feel bad if the surgery went wrong and that she had had a good life and they would meet again.

She had a stoma bag and ended up in ITU, infection set in, I went to see her thinking she was going to go at any minute. She battled on and I was so relived a week ago when she managed to FaceTime me last week, she was out of ITU, I still thought she was going to beat it. 

My mum and dad were about to move to wales to care for my aunt, their house were sold, moving next week, I thought that would give my aunt something to fight for.

the three of them had plotted and planned how they were going to spend their retirement together, gardening, growing vegetables, my aunt wanted a grand piano for her living room, knowing full well there wasn't the space!!

I will never forget the phonecall I had on Friday with my mum,

my aunts kidneys were failing, nothing more they could do and they were just making her comfortable. 

My mum was going to stay with my aunt until the end,

my mum pleaded with me to stay put in Plymouth, I was having none it it. I wanted to be with them, the two people who have cared for me the most.

i forgot there on Saturday and she knew I was there,

she was hallunconating and in pain it she soon settled and she told me she loved me. She died on the Sunday afternoon with the sun shining down on her from the window holding our hands.

i knew it has only beeen four days but when will I start to feel better. I feel such a void now she has gone