Hi,

I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your partner. Grief is a difficult thing to come to terms with and you have been with him for a long time. I am glad to hear that you are not totally alone and that you do have the support of family or friends.

Fifteen days is by no means a long enough time to come to terms with all that has happened. You do all the necessary things surrounding his death on auto pilot and living on Adrenaline. It is not until after the funeral that you begin to gradually realise that this nightmare is happening. There will be many occasions where you want to tell him something that has happened on a particular day and you will suddenly realise that he is no longer there. This usually means that you will have spells when you are feeling that you are beginning to cope and then find that you are knocked back into depression by the tiniest and maybe most minor event.

I lost my mother 20 years ago and still miss her every day, but I know that she had to go and I wouldn’t have wanted her to suffer any more. I find it very helpful to keep my favourite photo of her in full view in my living room and I have found myself talking to her picture at times. I know that this sounds strange, but it really has helped me and, many of my friends who have lost dear ones have found the same.

I can now say that I have come to terms with my loss and I hope that you will too.

Do you have any hobbies that you could invest time in at present? The best thing that you can do at the moment is to keep yourself out and about amongst other people. Don’t be tempted to shun friends and family, or you may find that they all start to disappear.

If you feel like crying let your tears flow, as this is a great release valve. You do not say what your own health problems are, but I hope that you can manage to get out and about – if not, the Internet can be used to follow various interests and hobbies. This is a time when you have to call on your inner strength and, I hope and pray that you find that you can call this to the fore.

All you can do just now is to try and take each day as it comes. I’m sure that your partner would want you to move forward so do your best to get on with life, even though you may not feel like doing so.

You will gradually find that, things get a little easier with the passage of time. I know that this sounds trite at the moment, but the day will come when you suddenly realise that you are moving forward. This is not to say that you will ever forget your partner and, I’m sure that you wouldn’t want to.

Remember that there is always someone here to support you. If you feel the need, please make sure to come back to this site.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx