Having lost my husband to lung cancer after 32 years married ive been lost without him and lonely altho we had 4 children they say i cant be lonely as i have them but i dont think they understand i need adults to talk to too
Certainly I understand the rollercoaster of emotions and, like you, choose to keep occupied to help keep me focussed. At the ripe old age of 61 (six months after I was widowed) I joined a local gym as something completely different to do (my GP was also delighted as it has brought my blood pressure back down!!).
I too have been away with my children and grandchildren and yes it is different (for them too) but also a privelege to enjoy those times together (it was my daughter who was the first to be upset whilst we were away as of course she was seeing me 'on my own' trying hard to enjoy myself). From then on we did not try to hide our emotions when they bubbled to the surface and in a small way it helped my eldest grandson understand the grieving process (he was 6 at the time).
Thank you for your kind words and I am sure that you too will make good new memories to store along with the precious ones you already have. Maybe wel will be comparing holidays on our return. Take care, Jules x
Thanks so much for your kind words and good wishes for my holiday. Two years ago I would never have thought I would be taking this step but somehow the time seems right even though there is definitely trepidaation in doing it! I doubt we will ever stop missing our men and hubby is never far away in my thoughts ~(I even miss his bad habits!!). I am sure you will take your own journey and surprise yourself along the way and coming and chatting with others was probably the best step I took. Be kind to yourself. Jules x
How are you doing , its still early days yet for you its nearly 16 month for me now i still have bad days but life has to go on , i am going away next month its the first time away with out my hubby in over 40 years so i am quite scared my friend that i am going with are in seperate rooms so if i feel asif i wont to cry i can go to my room for a while take care Syl
Thank you for your kind and wise words. It helps to know that this loss is survivable and that while life will never be the same maybe there is hope that the passage of time can bring acceptance.
I hope your holiday goes well and you feel relaxed. Please let me know how it goes.
Hope you won't mind a joint reply this time round. Having just returned from holiday have some 'mail' catching up to do.
Holiday put another tick in the box so to speak and I was very lucky to have great weather. Spent much of the day times doing coastal walks and enjoying local flora and fauna. Camera was kept busy ha ha. Evenings were a bit of a 'deep breath' and get on with it feeling but I managed okay. Hotel was good and I ate in a couple of evenings but also went to a couple of local restaurants so quite an achievement for me.
On my return yesterday spent the day with my son and family whilst of course remembering hubby on Fatherls Day. Back to work on Wednesday after a visit to my Mum tomorrow and then a planned visit to see my daughter and family on Friday now they are settling down in their new home.
Will also have to get back in the garden; how it has grown in just a week and have already managed to mow the lawn and get all my washing dry. The mundane stuff always there to bring you back down to earth.
Hope you are all doing ok and staying well. Jules xx
Hi both
Lovely to hear your feedback from your holidays Jules.. You are one very brave lady 1. To go on holidays by yourself and 2. To eat out in local restaurants!!, I take my hat off to you.
My holiday was very different from what I am used to. Went with daughter, her hubby and Theo my beautiful 2 year old grandson. I spent a lot of time taking Theo for walks, playing on the beach. He loved it and I kept thinking this is what Mark would do if he was here. I went into melt-down when I arrived at my room with my suitcase and saw the 2 beds. I started unpacking and just cried and cried. I went to the balcony and took a deep breath and said to myself 'you can do this'. And I did. It was lovely. And like you Jules, mowed lawn, done washing and back to work today.
Fathers day was hard, the first one. I found it painful and so did my kids. We went to his grave and laid flowers.
So its lots of firsts out of the way.
Still find nights awful and still have that horrible feeling when I awake in morning. Just get up and keep myself busy.. Anyway, lovely reading your inspiring message this morning,, back to work!!!. Jayne.xx
Certainly both our holidays were completely different to what we would have anticipated or expected to have been faced with but I took the view (rightly or wrongly!!) that ' needs must'. I have been away with children/grandchildren and would probably do so again as love spending time with them but this time I felt an inner need to do this one 'alone'. So many have been calling it brave but feel I have no choice really as do enjoy travelling and just needed to prove to myself that I was capable of facing my fears. Will need to renew my passport next year!
Meltdowns will continue I am sure but we can also enjoy those brighter moments in the knowledge that our menfolk would be proud of us. Father's Day has a lot of emotions attached to it (I still miss my own Dad too) and am thankful for mutual support of our children and this forum. Just helps to know others have similar emotions to go through.
How tragic and painful this must be for you. I hope time rewards you with kindness and peace in knowing you shared such wonderful years together. Time will heal your pain. You have lost your best friend and you need to look after yourself. Surround yourself with nature, embrace your life and enjoy your precious memories. Let your family/children in. Be there for each other. All my love to you xxx
