DEVASTATED AND SO ANGRY

Two months ago today exactly, my Partner passed away. And although I am devasted and still not accepting that what has happened has happened, I am so angry.

My Partner had a road traffic accident when he was 17 years old. He was an inocent victim and received a blood transfusion in which he received blood which was contaminated with the Hepatitis C virus. That led to cirrhosis of his liver and although he was eventually cured of the virus when effective treatments became available many years later, the damage was done. He had a liver transplant in April 2016 which we thought was the last piece in the "jigsaw", but it turned out not to be. After being told all had gone well, success turned to disaster in January 2017 without any warning and seven weeks and two days later he passed away. He had cancer of the liver and it was said nothing could be done. He had been monitored more of less monthly following the transplant but this had not alerted anybody to anything untoward. Why am I so angry? I am so angry because he died at the hands of those who bought the untested blood used for his transfusion all those years ago from unknown donors, and those who gave him the transfusion knowing that the blood was untested, just like many others who have suffered and died in the same way. That is why I am so angry.

 

  • You have the right to be angry. You are in horrible pain over your life changing loss, It is so unfair and cruel that this happened to your cherished partner. My heart goes out to you. I am very angry that my mom is dying of cancer. Then sometimes I am just so sad i feel i can;t go on. Then roller coaster from panic, grief and anger is difficult. What helps me is to admit how I feel, be honest. Tell close friends, cry, scream, swear, whatever. Afterwards, you might  feel a tiny bit better just being heard. Lean on your friends, ask for support, reach out. Don't go thru this alone. Keep posting my friend. I am genuinely sorry that you are suffering. From, nurse in Boston, Mass, USA

  • Thank you for your kind response. It is a difficult road we walk, and I am not sure that it will ever get easy ,,, perhaps a little easier.