Its 2 and a half months since I lost the most important person in my life, my best friend, my soul mate, my biggest fan, my beautiful mum. I'm really not sure about the future or how things will turn out, I am going to carry this huge pain and hole in my heart until it's my time "to go" and I'm finding it really hard and daunting to think about my life and possibly all the things that will happen that I won't be able to share with her. I know there are so many girls who are close with their mums and have an amazing bond but I worshipped my mum as she did me, she was and is my whole world. I'm married to a lovely man and my dad is wonderful but I'm just so very sad and devastated to my core. On the outside I'm sure people thinking I'm holding it together, I'm going to work, paying bills, trying to eat 3 meals a day and excersize but I feel so sad, a huge cloud is hanging over my head and will never go away. I just really want my mum, I'd do anything to have her back, I like to think that she is in a better, amazing place and that I will see her again but I'm only 26 and I know I shouldn't wish my life away but I just want my time to come so I can be with her, I wouldn't ever harm myself but when I think I could have another 50 years on this earth before I see her again, it breaks my heart. I don't have many friends but I do have 1 amazing friend although she lives quite far away, we speak everyday but I really miss female company and talking about girls things as I'm surrounded by men. I'm not quite sure what my question is here, it's almost a little carthartic writing down my feelings, I find some comfort in that I'm truly not alone and I spend a lot of time looking at the posts on this forum but it is so hard. I guess I would like to hear from anyone who is feeling like me and perhaps some words of wisdom, thanks in advance everyone x