Hi,

I lost my dad about eigteen months ago. He lived in Canada while I live in the south of England. We only actually met fo a month about twenty six years ago as he went back to Canada at the end of the war. So I never really got to know him as well as I would have liked as we only had those four weeks. You only get to really know someone a little by talking on the phone which wasnt cheap.

But despite all this I found we were so alike same mannerisuims and likes/dislikes. He died aged 93 from prostate cancer plus age. But he passed a lot of himself on to me by his genes. When we visited him for the month all those years ago, everyone who met us remarked how alike we were in so many ways, which I could see pleased him greatly.

But yet I do miss him a lot but just as with my late mother, there are things I do that suddenly remind me that he used to do things the same way and I find that comforting as I feel a part of them both are still here guiding me through life if that make sense to you.

People say it get easier with time but I feel its only because we learn to live with our loss. Life unfortunately will never be the same as there is someone missing in our lives.

I do feel for you and all those who have lost loved ones. sending kind thoughts your way, Brian.

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I am saddened by the grief you feel without finding comfort Buffbuff. 

Grief i have found is the only experience that brings every emotion to you without your control to stop it.

Alcohol is never an answer...more a numbing of the mind for very short periods.... cant you find someone to talk too.  I have bereavement counselling via the Hospice where my son died.  I have found i am able to say things to him i cannot say to another person close to me....im afraid the depth of unhappiness i feel after losing my 46 yr old son far to dark to express yo anyone close.  I have had 3 sessions on the phone which allows me a non face to face explosion of emotion.  Are you able to access this service? 

I pray you can find some peace in your soul..... we have to live on out of respect for a life gone.

Take care...be kind to yourself and try to take peace from the small things around us.

Regards

SuzieM