my beautiful grandma died of cancer a month ago .... my grandma got ill, like flu ill she was one of the strongest woman i knew so i knew she would be ok, christmas eve she was tired and weak altho she must have put on a brave face and even let my daughter sit on her lap, by new years eve she couldnt manage the stairs and by the 6th of jan and decided to stay in bed .. well that was that a doctor was called he said antibiotics , the next day my grandma was hospitalized they said it was sepsis ... the next day we found out she had cancer it had spread and was terminal (my grandma even without a diagnosis knew this and had for some time... just didnt tell us) the following day they told us she had a few weeks and would be moved home that afternoon 2 hours later i was called to say goodbye .. she left us the next morning ... i wasnt ready im still not.. i waited for her miracle i still kind of feel like i am ... where was our few weeks? how long will i feel ripped off and angry ... how long till i stop looking at bad people in the news and wondering why my grandma ??? im not like this i try to be fair and kind but at this moment i cant be .... how long till i stop feeling crazy and can sleep without crying ...how long till i stop misplacing things its making me feel crazier ... my daughter keeps asking when great nanny will be back from heaven i cry each time