My mum passed away at end of July 2016 and finding it do hard to cope with.  She got diagnosed in March 2017 with a cancerous tumour on her neck caused by skin cancer that started on her ear.  She had tumour removed in April and was given choice to have radiotherapy which she declined, she got told the cancer would come back but we were given a lot longer for her to live as in up to a year or longer she went right down hill very quickly after her operation she found it hard to swallow, awful cough and choked on food, was awful to watch.she hit taken into hospital after collapsing at home and she never came out.. One sat we got told on the Friday she had only a few hours we got whole family my sisters, husbands, all our kids and her sister to come to her bedside and she lasted till the Tuesday morning. Was just painful to watch her die over 4 days I just can't get it out my head. They stopped all hydration over the 4 days and she was just on lots morphine. I'm struggling to not think about what she must have been thinking how she felt, was she scared. She knew all family were there definitely as she acknowledged the grandchildren was just heartbreaking. Can't get image of her dying out my head and just can't cope with life without her, she was our best friend as well as mum and we saw her all time, she brought us up on her own from when my sister and I was 15 and could tell her anything. I find it hard she d isn't exist anymore can't get my head round it and keep thinking about how I'm going to die. I was on auto pilot first few months and we getting by but am so much worse again. My mum was only 69..too young and I'm. Angry she won't see proper old age