How our bodies cope with loss... How do you cope?

We all know how it feels to emotionally cope with loss, everyone here has had his/her share of loss and unfortunately some of us have lost more than one beloved... but what about our bodies ? How do they cope ???

A shrink told me - 2 months ago-  that if I didin't express my sorrow in any way ( crying for instance ) my body would suffer the consequences and potentially collapse. Sounds familiar ?...

Well, as you can guess, something did happen to me. Actually many things happened to me. Since last night it has been my back. I am simply stuck... rigid and in pain... hence the still body on my bed and only my fingers moving and typing...

You'll answer me to be patient and wait  for it to end... well, yeeeeah...  but do you remember I am now alone with a now 1 year old baby and no family at all? Mm... ... 

When 15 years ago I lost my mom I had 2 menstruation cycles per month for 6 months... yes, I know...

When 2 months ago (1 month after my husband died ) I lost my Godmother... I almost fainted while driving. I couldn'y drive for a week.

How do you cope? And how can we cure these symptoms???

( I did listen to the shrink and did cry in front of the baby so that she realizes I miss her dad -even though I´m not quite convinced of that theory... doctors... - but all I got was a laughing baby who was making fun of me... )

  • Hugs hun .driving back from my dads yesterday u cried 7 miles never have I cryied so much I had to pull over one point u couldn't see or breath I know it was a panic attack... 

    I don't feel like smilling but have to for my kids sake ..

    I don't feel like eating but my partner making me as I get dizzy...

    I don't fell like showering or getting out of bed or brushing my hair ..

    But having kids makes u carry on .

    I'm here if u need a friend hun xx

     

     

  • I am so sorry for your loss and feel for you.

    I guess one of the reasons I still smile is - as you so nicely said - it's when baby is around. How not to laugh with her giggles and her attempts to walk for the 1st time... 

    I also cry in the car.... I guess it's the only time I'm alone...

    I got some sick leave from work though. Taking care of a small baby is so energy consuming...I need time for myself...

    How about the others out there?

    How do you cope??? ( hugs Hayley )

  • Hello x Firstly let me applaud you for being so open and honest. It's a very difficult thing to do, so much easier to tell people you're fine isn't it xx The physical effects of grief are just awful. When my Mum died in September, all sorts of things happened to me (pain in legs, constant headaches, sinusitis, chest pains, palpitations, dizziness...) I have two young children and it was very difficult to look after them. Still is at times. Have you opened up to your doctor about it? I've been on antidepressants now for a couple of months, they're helping a little xx Please know that there are people here always willing to listen and try to help xx 

    Sending love x

  • Thank you Dawn83.

    My doctor suggested some therapy...

  • Hi, I am a year and a half in from losing my husband to pancreatic cancer. I was fortunate to have him exactly one year for diagnosis. What I have come to realize is that my life is never going to be anywhere near to what it was when my husband was alive. I just go through the day to day motions of getting up going to work, coming home and going to bed. If I am lucky I can get through the day without crying. I am sad all the time. For myself I don't think there is anything that a therapist can do or say because they can not bring him back to me. I am not suicidal and I do not take antidepressants. I believe that one day I will be with him again. I have moments of overwhelming love that I feel coming from him when I need it the most. I do have adult children and one grandchild but even when I am with them I am putting on a show. I do not think they need to be seeing me unhappy. I do have sisters that I can talk to and it does help. I try to take care of myself because it makes me feel better physically. I just don't see much real happiness in the future. I became a member of the online forum Widow Village and it has helped me to see that there are so many people out there going through the same thing as I am so I am not alone. They express what I am feeling and it resonates with me. It is an awful thing to say that someone else going through the same thing can actually make you feel better. I have experienced the loss of grandparent, parents and a sister but none of that compares to the loss of my husband. So I would say we only cope.

    Cindy

  • Coping hun I'm not really..

    I have bad days waking up hoping it's a nightmare and I dreamed it all up but then reality sets in then my chest gets tight .

    But I keep myself so busy I'm a crafter u make cards and jewellery and stitched items just Google me no1-craftycrafter or sparkle stitch and stick I'm on YouTube hayleyb .

    Most of the time I just want to stayed in bed a cry but with 3 kids I'm needed .that's all I can say it's my children that's keeping me sane it's my little family that's helping me without them even knowing it .My kids know there grandad very poorly and that he won't get any better I'm slowly telling them because I don't want it to be a shock when he does pass .cancer maybe fast inside the body but in the outside it's slow killer .My dad looks so fragile his lost So much weight his head looks like it's shrinking..

    His a big man so it's shocking his bones can be seen were his fat beer belly was that's going ..

    The reality hun on coping is letting the pain out reather then keeping it hun right down how yr feeling ..

    Here if u need a chat xx

     

  • Since I lost my mum in January I can't say I've been coping well at all... I've had IBS for years and that has flared up again badly. I have nightmares every night that mum is still dying and I've started comfort eating again which I haven't done for a very long time :( 

    My GP's put me on Prozac so I'm hoping they help. 

     

  • Hello,

    I am also eating a lot and that's getting out of hand... what is IBS? 

    Kind regards,