Hi all. First post so not sure what to expect or what I really want from it. I lost my lovely Mum best friend to throat cancer 6 months ago. I can't seem to move myself forward and out of this big black hole. I refuse to go on happy pills. I have terrible flashbacks as to what happened in hospital, I don't want to go into too much detail as I don't want to upset anybody. Everyone was so positive Mum would be cured and had only been diagnosed 6 months prior to her passing, it wasnt meant to be. We all had chance to say our goodbyes and everything we needed to say, and held her until her last breath, so no regrets there. I just miss her terribly, we was so close. I saw her every day and tell myself how lucky we was to have such a fantastic relationship, but that hurts's more. Dad is so lonely and I worry for him. I cry every day. I have a lovely husband and children but I cannot see a way forward without her in my life. Everything we did we did as a family and that is now gone . I even get angry and upset when friends say "She is with you ". Mum isn't with me and if she was I wouldn't feel like this. Thank you for listening X
