I lost my wonderful mum to cancer at 00:22am on 2/1/17. She first had lung cancer in 2011, got through that, and was diagnosed with secondary brain cancer in November 2015, had an experimental surgery straight away, and then had the tumour removed in July 2016. And she got 5 more brain tumours in October. It was so quick! I knew it would come back but she deserved a lot more time than that. She has been declining so much over the last month and me (21), and my dad have both taken carers leave and did all we could for her. In the last 2 weeks we had to get a hospital bed at home as she didn't have the strength, knowledge, or coordination to get up stairs, or around the house, or use the toilet.
She passed away yesterday morning, I walked into the living room where she was, my older brother (23) was asleep on the sofa, dad was asleep upstairs, I saw two deep breaths and then her pain stop. I kissed her head, closed her eye, and woke my family up to tell them.
What am I meant to do now? How am I meant to feel? I've not known a day in my life where I haven't seen or at least spoken to mum once a day, even when I was away at university! I've just got engaged in September, I don't know if I can plan the wedding knowing she won't be there. I don't know what to say to my dad, how do I make it better for him? Mum made everything better for us all! I've lost my mum, my inspiration, my best friend.
