Mum was diagnosed with bowel cancer last December and passed away at a hospice yesterday at 3.50. I'm 27 and I just can't believe it, How on earth can I live without her? I know she wants me to go on and be happy but it's hard. Mum told me a week ago that she was sorry and that she couldn't fight it anymore and that broke my heart. Watching her trying to catch a breath and that rattling noise will haunt me forever. I spent a couple of hours with her after she died, talking to her. A few days before her death she was in extreme agony and I asked her if she would rather be asleep and in no pain and she said yes, so the hospice changed the medication. I feel like she would still be alive if they didn't change the medication but she would be alive and in horrendus pain for what a week or another month? I didn't want to watch my Mum die but I was there by her side holding her hand because she was there for me all my life. The Hospice was amazing and treated my Mum with great care and made her time there a happy one. Mum was a fighter and she faught until the end, I told her it's okay to go and be with Nan and that I will be okay. I just keep thinking about her lying there alone in the hosipice now. :cry: