My mum has been fighting breast cancer for the last 13 years. Diagnosed around the time my daughter was born she was treated with chemo and surgical removal of her lump and was told she had the all clear and was lucky as it was a type that responded very well to treatment but unfortunately she had her lymph node removed under one arm and the cancer spread through that area.  So at around 10 years after initial BC it returned in her lung lining and liver and bones. That was 3 years ago. That Christmas I thought I was losing her. But she fought and accepted treatment but now, almost 3 years later, the 3 weekly chemo stopped working and she's fading fast. Alongside my mum being poorly with BC I also watched a lady I worked very closely with at work fight and lose to BC so I've seen how it can progress.  BC has been in my face for the last 13 years. And I am so fed up with it!!! I think about it practically every day.  It has changed the whole way I think about life. I am often depressed and crying. It is affecting my work at the moment and I am scared that I will fall apart when mum dies? But need to be strong for my dad.

I try to be grateful for the last 3 years that we've had mum but it has been an emotional rollercoaster.  I am at the point now where I cant wait for it to end...but then I hate myself for thinking that about my mum and of course I don't want to lose her really. It's just that I have had enough of feeling emotionally drained.  Anyone else out there who hates the impact Cancer has on their emotions?