my dad died a month ago today. We were not on the best terms for a few years now and I wasn't aware of how bad the cancer was until two days before he passed. I had visited him a few times, he looked sick but still not terrible. The last two days of his life took every muscle he had from him all at once. When I arrived at the hospital he could not talk, or move. I just talked to him the day before on the phone and he had a full conversation with me. I held his hand. And sat with my dad as he took his last breaths. I have never felt this much pain. I think of him every day. I have dreams that we are still in the hospital and I'm holding his hand. I feel like I jut keep reliving it. I don't know how people get through this. I try to be strong but I don't think I am that strong. Any advice would be appreciated I don't have anyone who has been through anything like this, and I feel so lost.