Hi Leanne, I'm so sorry to hear your sad news, I have followed your story the last few weeks but have waited to comment. Its very difficult to know what to say to you, I've been friends with my best friend for 40yrs, all of my life, and I'd like to think that if my cancer was terminal (fortunately I don't think it is) that she would give me the wonderful support you have given Karen right to the end, but I would also like to think that when the end came she would gently place our life, our memories, our love in a very pretty wrapped box and store it in on a shelf in her mind /heart. Karen would be very proud of you and the way you have handled the last few months with dignity and above all love for her and her family. But Karen would also expect you to gradually get back to your life, that's the best thing you can do for her legacy. Watch over her family, look back fondly and remember often . I know its old clichés but things will get better with time. Take care lovely lady, you will find the strength you need.

Nic xxx

Thank you for your lovely kind words,  they mean the world to me,  I can't tell you how much.  They really do.  It's hard.  She was such a big part of my life.  I have my memories but at the moment I'm selfish I just want her.  My heart is real heavy.  I have many memories and keep sakes.  My head is like a vault.  I remember everything.  She was such a character.  Such speaking about her in the past tense seems so difficult.  I've said my goodbyes already,  her funeral is next Thursday.  I e told myself I'll leave for her,  I'll do one thing a week for her,  it can be a walk out,  a meal out,  a shopping trip,  something that I'll call Karen time.  She'd love that.  K T. Time. I'll take it one day at a time for now and try and be more brave. Xx

Hi Leanne

Sorry about your lost.

Like what the others said, there are no easy answers to your question. Grieving do takes some process and your recovery is pretty much all up to you.

But I can give some tips.

1st. Please look after yourself specially your health. The worst thing that can happen when youre grieving and in depression is developing some ailment. Toothache, for example, will really put you way down the depression spiral. And when the time comes that you realize you are up and ready again to enjoy life once more the last thing you need is a series of hospital visit and medication (nothing against the medical profession).

2nd. Jogging, biking, walking, hiking. These always help me out when im sad and depress. Couple these with healthy diet and youll be feeling fresh energize and confident. Thats necessary when you want to attain a positive mental attitude. 

3rd. Pray (if you believe in God) or medidate (if you are more like a secular person) whenever you can. And every time you do so imagine that you are being surrounded by a very bright light. Imagine that your friend has become part of this grand light and her love and affection are know embracing you at every moment. Imagination and visualization are a very powerful thing.

4th. If you can, try to do some volunteering stuff. If ever i somehow manage to survive my pretty terminal diagnosis, i will surely wanted to volunteer to our local hospice organization. It kinda makes me jealous that some people can easily do so without such condition. Oh well.

5th. Always try to look for something to be thankful for, specially in (seemingly) hopeless situations. It sounds very cliche right? but it actually works pretty effectivelly... at least if you ask me.

Good luck.

I'm trying to do number 1), eating is getting better,  sleeping. It's a work in progress, 2) I've decided to go walking every wk end regardless of the weather.  It'll help me think.  3) I've got faith but will try the mediation your talking about.  4) my job takes all my time up,  I'm volunteering up to my eye balls with work (I teach secondary school) I have little time for myself.  Karen used to go mad at me about the hrs I do.  What I want to do though is raise money,  be more proactive for cancer research so that's my goal.  5) being thankful.  I was always a positive girl.  I'd look at a nettle and see the beauty in it. I'm thankful for Karen.  I'm thankful for every second we shared,  the daft times,  the sad times,  the sitting in chemo being bored together , I'm thankful for sitting in the garden listening to her talk away.  She was the best.  Even at the end I was thankful to say goodbye to my best friend and wish her well on her next journey. It was heart breaking and I cried selfish tears.  I didn't want her to go.  She was my Sam and I was frodo.  We had a great time.  I'm thankful for that.  

So sorry for loss of u wonderful friend Karen  u can tell how much love u have for u friend . U such true friend u don't come across many like u .my heart goes out to u and her family at this sad time .take care of u self x 

To get me through I'm thinking  of KT (Karen time)  Saturday.  I'm putting on my warm clothes my boots and I'm going for a long walk around the park. I'll feed the ducks and squirrels.  Karen loved nature. Half her direct debits were to animal charities.   I'll feel close to her doing that.  We would go out for a Christmas meal the day I broke up for work. She'd say do it,  go and have fun,  go and have a meal.  I don't want to do that.  I'd rather eat a bag of chips in the park.  Think I'll do that too.  Xx

That sound nice do what u feel right 4 u that make u feel ok . I really could go 4 good walk clear my head x 

Hi lost my best friend 5years ago and have still not got over it.We were friends for more than 25 years. More like sisters I suppose. I think of her at least every day. I loved her with all my heart and will never ever find another to take her place. It still hurts so much even after all this time. I can’t understand it. I don’t know what to do 

Hi Leanne, 

please accept my friend request.

one of my close friends has today told me she has limited time left, and I’d like your advice on how to deal with it, how to help her etc.

jou