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Wedding and Dads death on a collision course

Mousie
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I am gettting married tomorrow and my Dad is in his final days and could go at any moment. He is on morphine and nothing else. I feel very anxious that he will die tomorrow on my wedding day. I dont actually know what to do whether to cancel or go ahead, and also what to do if we get a call tomorrow that he is on his way out. Mum is going to leave the wedding to be with him, and so will my uncle so that leaves my partner and I to decide if we leave or carry on. I feel like the joy of this whole wedding is gone. It's such a devastating thing to lose my Dad and to have this wedding thing as well on top of it makes it worse. All this week I have spent at the hospital instead of doing wedding prep. I am going to miss him so much that I can't possibly be happy tomorrow and smile for the cameras. It is an impossible situation. 

 

Thanks for reading, 

Mousie

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    Hi there Mousie, welcome to the forum, but sorry to hear about your Dad. You really are between a rock and a hard place what with your wedding and your Dad being so ill. My heart goes out to you. Your wedding should be a happy day to look back on years from now and your Dad's illness will be a big part of that memory. If your plan for your wedding is too difficult to postpone, then I'm sure in years to come, you will be able to reconcile that memory. If it is possible to postpone it, then it may be better for you to do that. Is your Dad aware of what is going on, and if so, has he offered anything as a solution? What about your Mom? Has she given her opinion? I hope you're able to work out a solution that can work for you. Come back and llet us know what you decided and how it works out for you.

    Good luck with it.

    Lorraine      

  • Offline in reply to LorraineD

    Hi Lorraine,

    Dad always wanted us to carry on regardless, and even though he was drifting in and out of conciousness on the Friday before the wedding he would have known if we decided to postpone.  My mother is of the opinion that 'the show must go on' . So indeed it did. We had a lovely day everything went to plan and all had a great time. I did get teary walking down the aisle with my uncle not my father, but I managed to put a smile on for the rest of the day. My father was never far from my thoughts. Apparently he woke up bang on 5pm when the ceremony started (I'm in Australia) and when he was shown a picture sent to his phone he smiled and said fantastic. Sadly I never spoke to him after the wedding as he was unconscious and passed away early Tuesday morning. He tried so hard to get to the wedding. 

    I am now in a state of numbness with grief. I am so grateful he did not pass on my wedding day. But the realisation of life without him has now taken over. He died just over a year from being diagnosed with bladder cancer, a cancer I had not heard much about.

    this forum is such a comfort. It is lovely to read everyones kind words of support. 

    Best set of luck with your journey.

    Mousie.

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    I'm sorry for you loss my heart goes out to you at this sad time . So sad to read what you went through life so not fair . Sending you big hugs take care :( 

  • Offline in reply to Gemini39

    Thanks Gemini39 for your kind words.

    It was not easy and it will be a tough road ahead. My father fought all year to get to the wedding and it was heartbreaking to hear him tell me a few days before the wedding that he had fallen at the last hurdle. I loved my dad so much I adored him it just doesn't seem real he is gone.

    Mousie

  • Offline in reply to Mousie

    Hi there Mousie, I am so sorry about you losing your Dad to this terrible disease. Having the wedding take place as planned I think was a wise thing to do. I know that you have some very sad feelings about losing your Dad the day after your wedding, but I think had your Dad died prior to your wedding, or if you had decided to postpone the wedding, it likely would have been even harder, if that's possible. Sometimes stuff happens that we have no control over and unfortunately, an untimely death is one of them. You will grieve for your Dad now and well into the next year as well. You will always miss him. Your life will go on and the pain of that loss will become less hard.

    I hope you have many years of a happy marriage and that in time, you will experience less pain from this loss. Take care.

    Lorraine 

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